The best remedy for a hang over is clearly this…
First you must leave the denial phase that you are hung over…
once you have accepted that you got WAY too intoxicated last night you are on the road to recovery.
Once this has happened, you will proceed to wake up, and get in your car… Hopefully this is pre 10:30 a.m and you are not still drunk… I would be embarassed to get a D.U.I the day after you were drinking, well at least a few short hours later. You will make your way to McDonalds and get a greasy hot cakes platter… Enjoy it with all its goodness and make sure you chug down that coffee/orange juice!
After you have filled… proceed back to the couch of choice for a 1 hour nap. This may actually turn into a 5 hour coma but this is all very important to the process.
Wake up and take a few tylenol… down a whole bunch of water.
Then.. the worst of it.. Take out the BMX for a session to sweat out the rest of the devil juice still in you. Hopefully around 2-3 p.m you should be in tip top shape… if you can hack it.
My procedure for a hang over goes something like this:
Wake up in you room. Notice that the lights are still on and you’re still wearing all the clothes you went out in. Look at the last few drops of the evil, evil, evil liquid left in the tequila bottle. That’s right, your head hurts. That’s right, you’re throwing up but nothing is coming out except maybe your insides.
You have a few short, blurred memories of going to a cheap restaurant after you’d started drinking the night before. Remember when you went to get a drink, then sat back down at the wrong table and figured you should introduce yourself because you thought you should have good manners when meeting stranger for the first time? Remember falling asleep on someone’s shoulder at that same restaurant then suddenly waking up and having a walk to the toilets that was interrupted by a wall putting you on your ass before you could complete journey to ride the porcelain bus?
No of course you don’t, but your friend that is yelling at you sure does.
It is at this point on Monday morning that you can be sure that there is no cure. Some wiseass will say you should have had two glasses of water and two pieces of fruit before you went to bed last night but with how bent you were that just wasn’t going to happen, and if you were in a state of mind that made you think that was a good idea you weren’t gonna feel half of what you feel at this moment.
Another might say lamb kebab will do the trick, but your breath is already so bad your eyes are nearly watering as it is..
You may as well spend your time and energy looking for your keys rather than trying to cure your hangover. You must have used them to get inside last night and you’ll need them to get back home after doing shots at your friend’s place tonight..
July 20th, 2008at 8:01 am(#)
Tell Tammy to hand ya another kurrs light!
July 23rd, 2008at 8:04 am(#)
The best remedy for a hang over is clearly this…
First you must leave the denial phase that you are hung over…
once you have accepted that you got WAY too intoxicated last night you are on the road to recovery.
Once this has happened, you will proceed to wake up, and get in your car… Hopefully this is pre 10:30 a.m and you are not still drunk… I would be embarassed to get a D.U.I the day after you were drinking, well at least a few short hours later. You will make your way to McDonalds and get a greasy hot cakes platter… Enjoy it with all its goodness and make sure you chug down that coffee/orange juice!
After you have filled… proceed back to the couch of choice for a 1 hour nap. This may actually turn into a 5 hour coma but this is all very important to the process.
Wake up and take a few tylenol… down a whole bunch of water.
Then.. the worst of it.. Take out the BMX for a session to sweat out the rest of the devil juice still in you. Hopefully around 2-3 p.m you should be in tip top shape… if you can hack it.
July 23rd, 2008at 8:35 am(#)
Who said I was done drinking?
July 23rd, 2008at 9:42 am(#)
Ok, I’ll assume you mean hung over from booze. The best possible cure for something like this is the one I often consider but never commit to:
Wake up, throw up, unprotected sex with a man, then suicide.
You’ve already sent me a bottle opener, give it to the second place guy. You can tell him he won.
July 23rd, 2008at 9:52 am(#)
Question : Best solution for a hangover?
Answer : Dont stop drinking
July 23rd, 2008at 11:36 am(#)
More beer, duh!
July 23rd, 2008at 12:43 pm(#)
keep drinking
July 23rd, 2008at 3:09 pm(#)
two gallons of milk with a berocca.
July 23rd, 2008at 5:19 pm(#)
A short, sharp kick to the mouth. All your hangover woes instantly forgotten in a sea of blood and teeth.
July 23rd, 2008at 8:50 pm(#)
Mexican food!!! It’s as simple as that!
July 24th, 2008at 6:48 am(#)
have a wank. then fry up. then some riding.
July 24th, 2008at 7:21 am(#)
My procedure for a hang over goes something like this:
Wake up in you room. Notice that the lights are still on and you’re still wearing all the clothes you went out in. Look at the last few drops of the evil, evil, evil liquid left in the tequila bottle. That’s right, your head hurts. That’s right, you’re throwing up but nothing is coming out except maybe your insides.
You have a few short, blurred memories of going to a cheap restaurant after you’d started drinking the night before. Remember when you went to get a drink, then sat back down at the wrong table and figured you should introduce yourself because you thought you should have good manners when meeting stranger for the first time? Remember falling asleep on someone’s shoulder at that same restaurant then suddenly waking up and having a walk to the toilets that was interrupted by a wall putting you on your ass before you could complete journey to ride the porcelain bus?
No of course you don’t, but your friend that is yelling at you sure does.
It is at this point on Monday morning that you can be sure that there is no cure. Some wiseass will say you should have had two glasses of water and two pieces of fruit before you went to bed last night but with how bent you were that just wasn’t going to happen, and if you were in a state of mind that made you think that was a good idea you weren’t gonna feel half of what you feel at this moment.
Another might say lamb kebab will do the trick, but your breath is already so bad your eyes are nearly watering as it is..
You may as well spend your time and energy looking for your keys rather than trying to cure your hangover. You must have used them to get inside last night and you’ll need them to get back home after doing shots at your friend’s place tonight..
July 24th, 2008at 1:45 pm(#)
HUEVOS CON f’n CHORIZO ese!!
July 25th, 2008at 5:48 am(#)
Have sex with a animal and do LSD lasts longer